August 4, 2014

Separation and Divorce

Although separating from a spouse can be the right choice, it is an extremely stressful life change. Often there is years of shared history that must be teased apart and redefined. The “self” must be redefined as well, from “couple” to “single”, and if children are involved, the emotional toll is high.

When one partner does not wish to end the relationship, often counselling can help. A break-up can feel like a trauma, especially when children are involved. Changing routines, schedules, access, or custody, can seem like a nightmare to the one who wants to keep the family intact. However, there are situations in which two people should not continue a dysfunctional relationship, even if there is a desire to have an intact family. It can be difficult to know where that line is, and it often comes down to whether or how a dysfunctional or unhappy relationship impacts parenting. This is a personal choice, one which no one can make for another person. But counselling can help to clarify personal values, goals and bottom-lines, and can help to make a coherent plan. Counselling can help both parties come to terms with a stressful life change like separation or divorce.

Couples can get through a break-up, even with children involved. It may take time and patience, but, with support for both parties, the emotional toll can be managed. Megan Hughes has experience navigating the waters of separation. Although she cannot provide legal advice, she can speak from the perspective of the children involved and she can engage fairly with both adults so that each can be heard. She can also work with one partner to heal the pain of such a huge change or to help make a plan.

If you feel you need support to get through a difficult separation, or just need to talk to make a decision, call Stillwater Studio at 604-734-2779.